I'm sitting on my sister's bed staring at my phone.

I love Yusry. Getting to spend time with him is really nice. We made a point yesterday, saying we'd get into a relationship. Even if we both know we're pretty much back at square ONE, it still gives an added sense of appreciation -- that our relationship is able maintain smiles and laughter, and that we like each other to even spend this much uninterrupted time with each other.

Being here at this point of my life with him has resolved some issues in my brain, as well. I don't know if I could ever be completely happy living someplace without the him nearby. The sight of the everyone else disappearing into the distance when he's around, gives me an infinite sense of comfort and satisfaction.

Going away would be so so hard. I don't have anything with me except my phone and pictures of us, and I still feel more at home with him, my friends and my family than I have ever felt in the last few years of my life.

You're allowed to say whatever you want, as long as you understand the stipulation that I can do what I want, and anything that I want to screen, will be screened. But I won't delete, at least not until I private/delete this entire entry. Which might come in a couple of days. And of course, you don't have to say anything anonymous, if you don't want to. Anyways, here's the million dollar question:

What do you honestly think of me?

To Homer

And sometimes it makes me wanna cry.

With love,
yours truly.

2010 April and then 2011 April
Same character, different feelings

Write drunk, edit sober.

I'm not shady, what I write is what I live.

Shaff's 18th @ Orchard hotel.

17 april @ Scarlet.
I love them.

A lot of people point a finger at me and call me an Arab or Philippian , I'd like to take a moment to explain a few things. I am none of the above. I do vibe many things about Arabs, mostly their strong features and distaste for government, but thats about as far as it goes.

I am, and have been for over 18 years, a Malay.

Sidenote. What its all come down to, this is it and Im pretty sad. If youre not, you probably have no soul.

I'm sorry for so much more that i can't talk about but i love you. I'm so done with all of this and all of you so peace out. (Only for a tidbit cause i love love love to lay my business out for all eyes to see YA KNOW)

But i am resigned to this wicked world.

I have been watching Jersey Shore for like months now and I am finally on the third season uh waiting for the fourth and Nicole and Vinny remind me a lot of Yusry and i, totally.

Me and you.

This is the time of the year when school break is coming to an end and suddenly there's so many things to do and you need more time, ah shit school is tmrw and my body clock is screwed, so this is what you call holiday fever hit!

Everyone keeps asking me about my love life. I'm not dating anyone.

I don't know how this relationship or friendship works because honestly I don't know how I work things out and most of the things I have planned out doesn't work.

So i've finally realised what's it like to have a secret kept only to yourself. At least i know i'm not crazy when i believe what seems to be a premonition that has befallen. And for the second time, i'm not crazy. They say even the walls have ears. People have religions. Because of religions, boundaries of truths are built. There are many things that people could have believed but they are compelled not to. Good fences still make good neighbours, but not in this case, i need a good enough soul to truly believe in me and not pretend to believe in me.I'm so tired and my neck aches , i hate to study but i know i can't escape it. How i wish i could say ' When i grow up, i wanna be an MTV junkie" .

I'm sitting on my sister's bed staring at my phone.

I love Yusry. Getting to spend time with him is really nice. We made a point yesterday, saying we'd get into a relationship. Even if we both know we're pretty much back at square ONE, it still gives an added sense of appreciation -- that our relationship is able maintain smiles and laughter, and that we like each other to even spend this much uninterrupted time with each other.

Being here at this point of my life with him has resolved some issues in my brain, as well. I don't know if I could ever be completely happy living someplace without the him nearby. The sight of the everyone else disappearing into the distance when he's around, gives me an infinite sense of comfort and satisfaction.

Going away would be so so hard. I don't have anything with me except my phone and pictures of us, and I still feel more at home with him, my friends and my family than I have ever felt in the last few years of my life.

You're allowed to say whatever you want, as long as you understand the stipulation that I can do what I want, and anything that I want to screen, will be screened. But I won't delete, at least not until I private/delete this entire entry. Which might come in a couple of days. And of course, you don't have to say anything anonymous, if you don't want to. Anyways, here's the million dollar question:

What do you honestly think of me?

To Homer

And sometimes it makes me wanna cry.

With love,
yours truly.

2010 April and then 2011 April
Same character, different feelings

Write drunk, edit sober.

I'm not shady, what I write is what I live.

Shaff's 18th @ Orchard hotel.

17 april @ Scarlet.
I love them.

A lot of people point a finger at me and call me an Arab or Philippian , I'd like to take a moment to explain a few things. I am none of the above. I do vibe many things about Arabs, mostly their strong features and distaste for government, but thats about as far as it goes.

I am, and have been for over 18 years, a Malay.

Sidenote. What its all come down to, this is it and Im pretty sad. If youre not, you probably have no soul.

I'm sorry for so much more that i can't talk about but i love you. I'm so done with all of this and all of you so peace out. (Only for a tidbit cause i love love love to lay my business out for all eyes to see YA KNOW)

But i am resigned to this wicked world.

I have been watching Jersey Shore for like months now and I am finally on the third season uh waiting for the fourth and Nicole and Vinny remind me a lot of Yusry and i, totally.

Me and you.

This is the time of the year when school break is coming to an end and suddenly there's so many things to do and you need more time, ah shit school is tmrw and my body clock is screwed, so this is what you call holiday fever hit!

Everyone keeps asking me about my love life. I'm not dating anyone.

I don't know how this relationship or friendship works because honestly I don't know how I work things out and most of the things I have planned out doesn't work.

So i've finally realised what's it like to have a secret kept only to yourself. At least i know i'm not crazy when i believe what seems to be a premonition that has befallen. And for the second time, i'm not crazy. They say even the walls have ears. People have religions. Because of religions, boundaries of truths are built. There are many things that people could have believed but they are compelled not to. Good fences still make good neighbours, but not in this case, i need a good enough soul to truly believe in me and not pretend to believe in me.I'm so tired and my neck aches , i hate to study but i know i can't escape it. How i wish i could say ' When i grow up, i wanna be an MTV junkie" .